Give Us That Country Club Jesus

 Give us that Country-Club Jesus

and that Country-Club Gospel
with that Country-Club Commission
to bring in the people
with the 'right' pedigree.

You know the ones--
the ones who can write the big checks
for our aging building
who can park their fancy new cars
in our empty parking lot
who have nice architectural homes
in enviable neighborhoods
and fashionable clothes
and all the right connections
with all the influential people, and
whose children are magically silent
at all the right times
but they look so nice,
dressed up, picture-perfect
like accessories in the pews
and make us feel good about ourselves
and magically never have needs.

And then perhaps they'll bring
their Country-Club friends, too--
with their own big checks
for our aging building
and their own nice cars
for our empty parking lot
and their own fashionable clothes
from all the right stores
and all their right connections
to influential people
and their own magical children
to make our church look less old.

But God,
it's all going wrong:
You keep sending us people in poverty
people who are hungry
people who are homeless
and foreigners
and unwed mothers, and
people with disabilities
and people with problems
that make us feel uncomfortable
and they probably can't even afford
to donate anything for our building.

And they bring regular children
who make noise at all the wrong times
and who wiggle
and who are not in picture-perfect dress-up clothes
and who make us feel old and tired.

And God help us if they bring their friends
with their beat-up old cars
or no cars at all
and no fancy clothes
and no influential connections
and no architectural homes
in enviable neighborhoods.

They'll probably let their kids
play basketball in our parking lot
and run around on our lawn
and they might scuff the paint.
God, we really can't have that.

Jesus, why do you keep sending us
all these undesirable people?
Don't You know
this isn't going to work?
Haven't You ever attended
a Church Growth seminar?

This just isn't going to get us anywhere.
And if we welcome them in,
then maybe others of us will leave
and go to some other church
where we don't have to worry about
these things.

Le Anne Clausen de Montes, 2024