I Hate Presbytery*

At least it's not this bad.  From commons.wikimedia.org

I hate Presbytery.*

*Well, not really, but at least now I’ve got your attention. Perhaps I’m simply a defective Presbyterian.  Robert’s Rules do not bring me joy. I read the packet and study the issues in advance, but I often don’t have a strong opinion on whatever is being debated.  More often, I sit in meetings and die on the vine.

I don’t want to offend anyone.  And I'll also be the first to admit I am not God's gift to meeting moderating, either. I see how much work goes into planning all these meetings, and I appreciate and like the people who do that work to make the meetings happen.  I even get why these meetings are (probably) important.  And I like things like meeting or catching up with people, hearing from candidates preparing for ministry, and so forth.  I almost always like the lunch.

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Maybe it’s all the articles lately about why young people are leaving the church, and I’m not all that old myself.  And while I’m a pastor, and therefore in the church, maybe Presbytery is where I get to be a restless young adult.

So what I find myself doing in the back of the room is trying not to squirm too visibly; I drain the coffee pot, I try to maintain a minimal awareness of the proceedings in the room, and I otherwise let my mind wander.  I try to give myself space to be creative, figure out new ideas for outreach and mission in my context, or a new opportunity for a colleague wrestling on a problem.  This month, I came up with some ideas for using Vine and YouTube on our church’s website, so that going to the website was more like going to church (in a good way), as well as the possibility of a midsummer candlelight outdoor worship on our lawn--wouldn’t that be cool? But I digress...

I realize, in the little meetings out in the parking lot afterwards, that there are ‘gatherings’ and there are ‘meetings.’  Gatherings are fun.  Meetings feel required.  Gatherings are creative.  Meetings are pretty prescribed.

From Newark Presbytery.  Sounds like fun!

I want to learn stuff, and then I want to go do stuff.

If our Sunday mornings are supposed to be little Resurrections, nay, CELEBRATIONS, (oh, don’t get me started on our Protestant Frozen Chosen ways), then why not have presbytery meetings be BIG Celebrations?  Why not be the Big Dance (or, Big Tent, anyone?)  

So relatively few of us can afford to go to the big, nationwide conference or teaching events that are so inspiring.  Why not bring a little of that home?  

When I was in the Presbytery of Chicago, I enjoyed presbytery meetings.  Well, not the meetings part, but the pre-presbytery events.  There were tables lining a large room with the best of each congregation’s programs, as well as all sorts of non-profits and causes and campaigns and what have you going on in the area, anything with some connection to Presbyterians.  I learned a lot, and I met a lot of people working for change in their communities, who helped me to look at my own community and its problems in new ways, with new possibilities.  There were caucuses and teaching workshops.  You could slip in and out of rooms, and toss around ideas in between.  Sometimes there was a book swap in the middle of the room.  Oh, and there were always lots of snacks.

Worship brought in the brightest and best of our presbytery, where we heard and practiced new songs and heard creative prayers and were enhanced by the visual arts and multi-sensory worship.  

Another place I don’t hate is General Assembly.  Sure, the actual meeting is either contentious or tedious, but I would survive a week of being there simply because there’s other stuff to do.  there’s the big room at GA where all the advocacy and mission and educational programs are--I get to reconnect with all the wonderful things our mission dollars do.  Or hang with my PPF peeps.  Or pick up some fair trade coffee, or check out a few good new books.  You get the picture.

So, let’s cut to the chase.  Have the meeting in the afternoon, do all the procedural things that will put me in a coma.  I’ll continue to bear with it until I’m honorably retired, or something like it.  However, in the mornings, or at least at some point:

I want to incubate creative new ministries, and bounce ideas off my colleagues.

I want to recharge our teaching elders and ruling elders together, so we all return to our home parishes with new energy to be disciples for Jesus, whatever that might contextually mean in the communities we call ‘home.’

I want something for my kids, and all kids in our presbytery, that is more than the childcare (where my kids will be the only ones and if I forget to call in advance, it won’t be there) and allow them to meet kids from other churches.  After all, I work in a small church, and whatever faith development my kids get will have to come from me.  Since we’re one of the larger churches in the presbytery, I bet other folks have the same issue.  What if this is the place where we build that cohesion needed to get a good showing at Triennium, Pres House retreats, Camp, and Montreat? (Maybe even Mo-Ranch, or Ghost Ranch?  Stony Point?  Am I dreaming too big here?)  Why not even at the very minimum, a mini-VBS?  And by the way, I am not too old, or too proud, to do “Energizers.”

I want to bring a taste of Montreat, Triennium, the Big Tent, GA, what-have-you that is awesome and cool in our denomination, so that we are left wanting more.

I want some good guest speakers at least a couple times a year, that lots of us would find really energizing and renewing, and I’d pay a portion of my study allowance to make that happen.  

What if we had a Theology Pub going on in one corner?  Or at least a non-alcoholic version thereof?

What if we set up a Genius Bar?  What if we host clinics on how to get started, or pick up new pointers, on our social media presence and share our favorite new apps for ministry?  

What if we open-source this, and make it super easy for folks to set up workshops on a topic of their expertise?  what if presbytery becomes the way to ‘get your geek on’ (in something other than Parliamentary Procedure).

What if we crowd-source what to do with some of our church properties that sit empty six days a week?  Or more?

What if we learn some new music during the worship?  I’ve noticed our presbytery worship is more often than not, uber-traditional.

What if we do a little arts in ministry?  What if we learned to paint the lectionary, illustrate sermons, or even used video clips as illustrations, to learn about the many quality resources available for this very purpose?

What if we make space to try being a tad emergent, radical, and revolutionary?  And very un-frozen?

What if we find engaging ways to disseminate the newest and best ideas into our congregations?

What if we make it a destination not to be missed.  

For that, I’d even be willing to come in on Saturdays.

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So, this is the happy, hopeful part:  that the John Knox Presbytery appears to have many folks with similar dreams for what our time together could be like.  They’ve even proposed some great changes, a new vision, and posted it here: http://www.jknox.org under “Draft JKP 2017 Vision Narrative.”  Way to go! This gives me hope, and renewed energy, even to keep coming to meetings, and maybe even to keep encouraging my elders to come to meetings, if we are to begin working towards this vision.  In the meantime, keep the coffeepot full, and I’ll be dreaming in the back row.