Mary, Martha, and Malala

Mary, Martha, and Malala

Luke 10:38-42

Usually when I read the Gospel story about Mary and Martha, I think about the ‘Mommy Wars,’ you know, stay at home mother vs. career woman, and the animosity between women in the two roles over the past several decades.  Or I think of slightly burnt-out volunteers in churches, wondering why nobody will help them.  Or I think about a devaluing of women’s work in general, perhaps even by Jesus, if you read the story that way.  After all, Jesus, supper isn’t going to fix itself.

Ah, but a series of events this past week changed how I see this scripture verse.

First, I happened upon an article talking about AIDS education in Africa.  The missionary health worker arranged a training and invited the community.  The chiefs and important men of the area sat on the benches to one side, in places in honor.  Most of the women opted to stay towards the back and chat during the presentation.  The missionary concluded that the women had not heard much of presentation and commented, “perhaps this is what Paul meant by saying women should be silent in churches.”  They needed to be able to hear the literally life-giving words being shared at the front of the room.  [I’ll link it here when I find the article again].

Well, perhaps.  I wasn’t in the room, so I don’t know how much the women heard.  Or maybe they’d heard it all before. Who knows.  But it reminded me of my time working throughout the Middle East and Central Asia, and particularly of public space and private space, and especially women’s space, and men’s space, and the roles and actions that each one plays.

Much like in Bible times, when guests come, a feast is prepared out of anything the family has on hand.  The table is set and the men of the family and the guests are seated.  Once the guests have had their fill, the women and children of the family are fed, always in a space separate from where the guests are.

My years of human rights work took me to many family homes in those regions, and after a while, I realized, we rarely saw the women of the family when we were visiting, especially if we brought male colleagues along with us.  The men of the family hosted us in the front room or parlor.  This was partly a protective measure, in cases where the guests were not well-known to the family.  There was also the practical measure that someone needed to get dinner on the table.  However, as a foreigner, even though I was a woman, I was granted space to be in the room, and at the table, and participate in the conversation.

At first, it was exciting to be at the table, because the conversations were always political and often radical--I always learned something I didn’t know before.  But after a while, I tired of the conversation and wondered what the other women were doing.

Eventually I’d excuse myself to go in the back with the women.  In doing so I learned how to cook some amazing food, and I made several friends.  I also got to see real life in so many homes, since the best was put into the room where guests would be received.  I also got to see women truly ‘at home,’ with their heads uncovered and their hair down, and able to relax in private family space.

In Bible times, most women didn’t get to go to school.  Granted, many families couldn’t afford to send any children to school; and many boys apprenticed with their fathers to learn the family trade.  Wealthy families may have privately instructed their daughters, but most education for girls was in-home domestic and religious education. Boys who went to yeshiva, or religious school, would have become literate in Biblical languages in order to read Torah, and would have been encouraged to debate religious ideas with the rabbis.  Girls would not have this opportunity.

Yet even today, in many places around the world, women face major obstacles in getting a complete education, especially outside the home. In places where families don’t have enough money to pay for the books, clothes, and supplies needed to send kids to school, the boys are usually sent and the girls kept at home.  Sometimes the obstacle is not just economic, but political: the recent story of Malala, the girl who was shot for being a vocal activist for girls’ education--who not only survived her injuries but also gave a speech at the UN for her 16th birthday, reminds us painfully of this today.  

Speaking of pain, let’s go back to Martha, in her kitchen, apparently fuming. It’s not that Martha’s wrong.  She may be bitter, but that’s understandable.  It’s that Martha is doing exactly what the world expects of her, which is good in its own right, but she’s also feeling left out, and perhaps nervous at what’s happening in the next room.

After all, Jesus breaks barriers by talking to Mary in the front room.  Mary breaks barriers by participating in the discussion. And Jesus gets that someone has to put dinner on the table, because elsewhere in the Gospels, Jesus is out there washing his disciples’ feet and breaking bread and pouring cups and then even after the crucifixion and resurrection, he’s out on the beach grilling up fish for breakfast.  

I think, more often than not, Jesus got it, and still gets it.  Jesus gets that women and men need to have equal access to the table, to the conversation, and equal responsibility to the chores at hand.  

So let’s not pit one sister against the other.  I believe Jesus is saying both sisters have a place at the table.  Sure, we all have our responsibilities, but in our life of faith, we look for ways that all may share the responsibilities--men and women, young and old, everyone together--so that we all may not only have but enjoy a place at the table, together with the Teacher.

May it indeed be so.

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Two recent pop songs for Mary and Martha:

“What Makes You Beautiful” by One Direction http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJO3ROT-A4E

“She Will Be Loved” by Maroon5 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIjVuRTm-dc

(disclaimer--these are songs that come to mind and seem to resonate when studying passages for the week.  Not all parts of all songs fit; I try to preview and prevent explicit content, but there may be in the lyrics or videos content which may be either graphic or triggering for some viewers.  I’m always willing to discuss these further, either online, or in person at church).